Once there was a time when you talked about rape in Norfolk and the image of vast fields of yellow crops blowing in the wind came to mind. But not any more...
I have just spent a few days in north Norfolk. I thought it would be nice to get away and experience the peace and tranquility of the countryside; to take in the panoramic views; to escape from technology to a slower pace of life.
Wrong!
There is a new kind of rape now in north Norfolk - ecoRape. You can't move in Norfolk without falling over bloody wind turbines. They're everywhere. Even the wheat fields have these festering carbuncles of failed technology growing in their midst.
And if you are foolish enough to go to the coast for a nice bit of Cromer crab or perhaps a stroll along the front at Sheringham, then there are even more of them! They have mounted telescopes along the promenade so you can watch the damn things being erected. In Sheringham, they have put up a shiny new exhibition centre for you to visit. Yes, the propaganda machine is in full swing in Norfolk.
Chris Huhne - you remember him? The bloke that's just been referred to the CPS for being a lying git? - says that we are 'blessed' in this country with 'more than our fair share of offshore wind'. I suspect that if we could harness the hot air he's giving off, we could do without the turbines? Well, he reckons that this technology is the saviour of our energy requirements and, of course, it's all amazingly green.
In the cottage we were staying at, there is a wind turbine in the front garden. The owner reckons that it is going to take him 20 years to recoup the outlay. By this time of course it will have worn out and most likely need replacing, but never mind. And naturally that pay back period assumes that the current level of subsidy for the electricity he sells back to the grid continues - which I sincerely doubt.
If you know anything about electricity, then you will know that AC current cannot be stored. It is simply generated and if not used then it is wasted. So if wind power is not consistently available, then the conventional generators have to take up the slack. And don't forget that you can't turn a nuclear, coal or gas powered power station on and off at the flick if a switch. You can only do that with hydro.
So the simple facts are that when the wind is blowing, you can back off the only other source of clean energy currently available - water. So are we saving the planet? No, I don't think so.
And they certainly fuck up the landscape...